white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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