I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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