just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
