I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
