piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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