I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
