Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
