Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
