Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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