Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
