1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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