And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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