still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
