I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
