If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
