Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
