There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
