How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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