either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
