i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
