Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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