so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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