I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
