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So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
