high people should be assigned attendants
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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