I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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