i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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