Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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