so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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