Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
