we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
ttyl tear gas
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
