i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
