One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
