Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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