im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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