hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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