You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
