Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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