why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
