I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i will never coherently bang her
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
