Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
