Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
