I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
