i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
