i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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