We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
