please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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