Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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