this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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