yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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