Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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