Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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