Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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