he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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