my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
